Finally after months of pain in the backside of my right leg, I decided to do something about it. One day at school, my colleague suggested that I go see her doctor. The Dr. had recently made her mom’s knee feel much better after only two treatments. So I thought I may as well give it a try. My thought was to try some Chinese accu puncture, or accu pressure and massage not to actually see a doctor for my injury, but what the heck!
So she arranged for me to see her doctor after school. Sans school laptop and backpack , I got on the back of her scooter, and off we went, arriving alive minutes later at the doctor’s office??!
Hmmmmm. We went in, she as my interpreter and me as the injured patient. We were escorted down a long, dark stairway with an open door leading to an outside alley at the bottom of the stairs. Huh! In the alley was a table, you know, the kind you lie on at the doctor’s office. Well, I wonder if I am going out there?
Whew, guess not! The doctor was sitting at his desk over to the left of the door. Well, that was a good sign. He gestured for me to sit down and began talking to me. I just stared at him because I had no clue what he was saying. He gestured for me to place my arm on his desk. I did. He took my pulse for a good 5 minutes, then the other arm, another 5 minutes. He began talking to my friend, Elizabeth who would then translate for me. They talked for a long time so when it came time to translate, I thought she was going to have a lot to say but rather, “Stick out your tongue.” What? Stick out my tongue? My leg hurts, not my throat, but ok! Wish I had my handy Chinese translator book so I could look up the word leg.
They continued with conversation and every once in a while she would tell me to stick my tongue out further and open my mouth wider. Oh China.
What have I done?
Finally, he was through with his exam of my tongue and he talked with Elizabeth for a long time. To the untrained ear, such as mine, it sounded something like this: “Chin ching, shr, tao, ba, shr, shr, wu surgery, ching, ding, cha shr.” What? Surgery? Ok, it can’t be surgery. Why would he speak Chinese and blurt out the word surgery? I thought I must be wrong, It must be something like clerks at the store saying, “Good morning” when it is 9 o’clock at night. They are not really saying good morning, but it sounds like it. So I thought I would just wait patiently until I could get the full diagnosis in English.
Elizabeth began telling me my diagnosis. It wasn’t my sciatic nerve like I had thought. Instead, it was my posterior nerve. My back and legs are so tight that it is pulling on my nerve. My back bone is sitting on my nerve. (or something like that). The recommended treatment are 30 sessions of one hour and 45 mintues each, with massage by a therapist and ending with the therapist rolling some grass in a paper, lighting it, with my body inhaling the fumes. Well, I don’t know about China law, but I know rolling grass in a paper, lighting it and inhaling is illegal in the USA. Interesting! “Ok, go on,” I said.
She said that my body was too humid inside (for lack of a better translated word she said), and the “grass fumes” would dry it out. He would hold this “hot cigar” on my body over my pressure points so my BODY could inhale the fumes. But not to worry, it won’t scald me!!! Well, that was a bonus.
Chuckle, chuckle, “He got all this from looking at my tongue?” I asked Elizabeth. “Yes, the tongue is the seed to your heart and you can learn a lot from looking at the tongue, so do you want to do it?”
Well, I was there and my leg hurt, so I may as well give it a try.
Once the therapist knew where my pain was, Elizabeth left and told me to call if I needed translation. Fifteen minutes into the procedure, he was asking me questions, my phone was dead! Life sucks…if you let it.
He just continued on and I enjoyed the hour and a half massage with him rambling on and me shrugging my shoulders. Next thing I knew, sure enough he had this huge rolled cigar looking thing in his hand and a lighter in the other hand. He lit it and began holding it really close to my pressure points all over my body. I could feel the heat but it did not burn. When he finally got to my right leg and held it close to my knee, I just about came off the table! That was hot! GEEZ. It did not hurt or burn anywhere else on my body except for there. Interesting! Maybe there is something to this tongue exam after all. Nearly two hours after the procedure began, I walked out with no pain in my leg.