It’s been a while since my last blog writing. I really just haven’t had the motivation or inspiration to write. It is not that I haven’t been doing anything, because I have done a lot of traveling and have had many interesting China experiences that are worthy of sharing.
But as any bereaved parent knows, sometimes it’s just hard to get by, especially during the Holidays. There is always one who is missing at the Thanksgiving dinner table, and one less to buy presents for at Christmas. Yes, I am in China and my Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas wasn’t with my family anyway, which was quite difficult, but it doesn’t take away the memories and the broken heartedness of the season. Soon, there will be one more less at Thanksgiving dinner.
I would have loved to have had time at Christmas in Oklahoma with my kids, friends, and ailing parents. However, the written IRS laws have prevented me from being able to go home at my leisure., or be subject to thousands of dollars in taxes. I had to think about saving my IRS “allowed days” in America for attending my dad’s upcoming funeral. He is terminally ill and is being admitted to a hospice hospital within the week to live out his final days. Just today, he told my mom he “Can’t do this anymore, and is tired of being sick and in pain.” Sadly, my mom and kids have to see this once strong, brave fireman struggling to just stay alive as cancer continues to spread throughout his body.
I am saddened by his illness, especially considering all the pain my dad is in and the hallucinations he is experiencing. Hospice workers say the hallucinations are normal for terminal patients with cancer. Dad is apparently trying to “pack his bag with imaginary items such as shoes and so on, so he won’t be late for the train.” My mom told him to wait until tomorrow to catch the train, as he wanted to get up and go. I guess he waited.
Again, hospice workers stated that this is common for people who have worked their whole lives to want to go on a journey when they know their time is near.
Well, dad is about to go on one remarkable journey and will be with his grandson again. I know Clifton, my son is in a much better place than we are, and I know that soon he will be with his grandpa and will be able to show him what’s on the other side of those Pearly Gates that we all look forward to seeing when it comes our time.
It’s ok, Dad go on your journey where there is no pain and suffering, and where Clifton waits to give you a hug and show you around.